On my way to the red carpet, Australian premiere of Disney PIXAR's new animated film BRAVE, I was blessed with time to spare. The heavens had opened attempting to wash the scum from our streets and as I paused a moment I seemed to be lured into a store by shiny red, ankle high Wellies with a small heel. Red shoes for the red carpet, all sense is abandoned and I make a rash purchase... 'so good for rainy days, gardening and trudging across the English countryside - who knows where they may take me'

I arrive at the red carpet with time to kill, secure a posi and chat to a couple of photographers. Bag Pipes whine desperately and small girls in curly red wigs begin a jig - cute. The kiddies are beaming.

Then suddenly the white haired man himself, BILLY CONNOLLY, has arrived apparently coming from a junket in New Zealand and he's in high spirits, joking to everyone and no one, while posing for photos. He flexes like a body builder and laughs. He talks to himself or to us, I'm not sure, but he's cracking jokes on the run